Thursday, July 11, 2002
The tarnished Ms. Stewart - THE COMMENTARY
By Joseph Planta
VANCOUVER -- Martha Stewart, ah dear Martha. She’s in trouble for a shotty investment she made in the pharmaceutical outfit, ImClone. Seems ImClone’s stock was puttering along at a steady price on the stock exchange, and then there was some word that the Food and Drug Administration would yank a patent held by ImClone. Its stock was set to slip and mere hours before lay people knew of the FDA’s movement, one Martha Stewart, as shareholder of said ImClone stock, decided to sell. Insider trading? Well, the doyenne of fine and finicky living thinks not. There’s an investigation on and she’s waiting to be vindicated.
Supposing Stewart did sell because she knew something at the right time. Well, due to the meager value of the transaction I don’t think anything is necessary except a slap on the wrist and a tad fine. But why the big deal? I wonder too, but because she is who she is, it’s news and major news at that.
Gossip columnists and media watchers are rightfully smirking at Martha as she tries to go on with the tasks that she’s known for, like making a salad. Two weeks ago she finally emerged from her ‘no comment’ state to do a previously booked appearance on CBS’ The Early Show. She wanted to make a cabbage salad, and instead of the meaningless hosting that morning shows are known for during cooking segments, Jane Clayson ought to be commended for taking Stewart on about her ImClone stock. And not only was Stewart annoyed by the line of questioning, she stood clutching a no doubt, sharp French knife with those now infamous words: “Right now, I want to focus on making a salad.”
The New York Times a while back mused that Stewart’s situation was indeed newsworthy because she’s built a multimedia empire out of the concept that her way of homemaking was the way to go. Now that she’s been befallen with perceived greed and all-too human voraciousness, those that compete with her in newspapers and television can rightfully smirk. Those that couldn’t get an arrangement of dried flowers to look like one Martha made, also feel a certain satisfaction that she’s not so squeaky clean. Actually, the vinegar she uses to give windows that clearness and shine, has spilled on her smock and the smell of contempt is perfuming her reputation.
Though, I’d never boast a show home like Martha Stewart, one is indeed in awe of her ability to craft a niche in the American marketing psyche as she has. She’s a star, who’s never acted, sung or danced. She lives the way she likes and is willing to share those pointers on how to be as “perfect” or “tasteful” as she. I guess this spectacle has proven that like the song said, we build our heroes up, only to tear them down. I’m sure there are many a homemaker out there who idolised each of Ms. Stewart’s steps. And I’m sure some of them are a tad appalled that she’s just as greedy, or just plain stupid, or just plain careful like the rest of us. She won’t go to jail, but as one comic said, if she did, the food and living quarters would improve. If only.
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Since I’ve just given my two cents on one Martha Stewart, I ought to use the rest of this space to laud the amazing versatility of... baking soda. Yes, bicarbonate of soda has more uses than those we’re already accustomed with. Yes, we can use baking soda to help us rise dough or cakes; or even to help disinfect our mouths as we brush our teeth. However, I saw a program years ago with another maven of the homemakers, Heloise, who swears by baking soda religiously.
Recently, I read a letter to the editor in one of the local papers that complained about the use of insecticides many are using to kill ants. Some of these sprays and powders when used on sidewalks and roads are toxic and deadly not only for ants. The correspondent wrote that baking soda is an equally voracious deterrent to ants, yet it isn’t harmful to people or other living things like dogs and cats. I use baking soda in the laundry, as I’m told it gives clothes an extra nice smelling quality. In the summer, that’s a good thing, mind you.
So I went on the Internet and found out that besides the wash, ants and cakes, baking soda has some other impressive uses. To wit:
Baking soda is good at taking odours away, and I no doubt believe we’ve known that since we put boxes of the stuff to take away smells in the fridge or freezer. But baking soda is equally potent at taking smells away from garbage cans, and if you’ve got a bin that’s a tad odorous then I’d sprinkle a dash or two to regulate smells. Also, some baking soda in the ashtray will take that smoke smell away too. Ditto for smells in Tupperware or other plastic or thermos containers. Sprinkle a little in with a little water and leave in -- smells seem to disappear.
Baking soda is also good at cleaning silver, stainless steel and other metals. However never use it on aluminium. I bet something bad happens.
Ingesting baking soda is suggested when suffering from indigestion or heartburn. So if you’re brushing your teeth, use some of the powder to whiten your choppers, but also a half teaspoon to a half a glass of water will nick ailments of the tummy.
Look up baking soda on your search engines, as there are probably hundreds more tips and tricks using the ever innocent baking soda. Martha would no doubt be proud.
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An archive of Joseph Planta's previous columns can be found by clicking HERE .