April 17, 2000
Roasting the Rafe one - THE COMMENTARY
By Joseph Planta
VANCOUVER -- Last Thursday night, at Vancouver’s most talked about hotel, The Sheraton Wall Centre, famous and not-so famous folk gathered for a bun-toss in honour of BC’s foremost openliner, Rafe Mair. Now, I didn’t happen to go, but from what I’ve seen and heard it was an interesting evening.
Tickets were on sale at Ticketmaster, but alas I didn’t buy any. As much as I respect Rafe, $98.00 plus the fact the average age there would be fiftysomething, was worth enough to skip the do. The occasion was not a retirement roast, simply an evening to pay tribute to Rafe, as well as a fund-raiser for the NW Orphans Fund and the Sing Tao program at UBC.
One must note that Rafe was the one who asked for the roast. It started about a year ago when CKNW’s legendary reporter, George Garrett decided to take retirement. His station promptly set up a celebrity roast on George’s behalf, which Rafe and his wife Wendy attended. Rafe noting the great feeling in the room, as well as the fact it’s rather gratifying for the “man of the hour”, demanded one be held for him. The first date chosen was in October, but realising that the city’s mucky-mucks would be at the VGH Night of 100 Stars, honouring Jimmy Pattison, the Mair’s decided to hold back.
CKNW came aboard and billed the evening as fund-raiser and tribute to Rafe’s 15 years at CKNW. The funny thing is Rafe’s been on CKNW for 16 years.
The Sun’s Malcolm Parry, as well as Red Robinson in his TV Week items column, noted the run-up to the event. Parry, even snidely noting it was a roast to honour Rafe, which didn’t mark his retirement or an award to be conveyed on the Rafe one.
Highlights of the roast were aired in place of Rafe’s show on Friday, which further proved the entire exercise was more of a massaging of Rafe’s ego than anything else.
Mike Smyth, the Province’s Victoria columnist and a regular on the Mair Show, hosted the event which featured speeches, clips and messages in honour of Rafe and of course Wally Oppal. (Justice Oppal’s performance at the Garrett roast is legendary.)
Mike Smyth opened the program poking fun at Rafe’s multitude of marriages, Tom Siddon’s libel suit from the early 90’s to Rafe’s time in politics. The evening was built up to be payback for Rafe’s rough and tough exterior on radio. The pastor from his local church even joined in the festivities admitting for Rafe, that he’s always asleep at church, every Sunday.
Then Mike unveiled clips in tribute from Rafe’s politician friends. Corky Evans, Paul Martin, Jean Chrétien, Preston Manning, Joe Clark and Stephane Dion joined in poking fun, as did Alexa McDonough. They were bland and boring, just like any politician. It reminds me of Larry Zolf who castigated Trudeau on his ability to tell a joke, “Sir, you couldn’t deliver a joke, even if it were in a Brinks armoured car.”
Bill Good strolled out to “light the first match” and did it rather well. Rafe once called into question Bill Good’s ability as a radio host. Bad enough, he did it publicly and the two went for years without speaking. Over the last little while the two have patched things up, rather well. I saw them both at work at the NDP Convention, snuggling close trying to do their broadcast, while Corky Evans raised a little hell.
Bill’s best line was the one where he talked about Rafe’s legendary love of fly fishing and his policy of catch and release. Good: “It’s something he picked up over his marriages over the years.”
Joy MacPhail then read messages from the government, managing to poke fun at her cabinet colleague Gordon Wilson and her member opposite, Jeremy Dalton. “Jeremy would have sent a message, but he ran out of letterhead.”
Videos from his family were then shown. One of his grandchildren, was asked, “Whom do you like better, Grandpa or his swimming pool.” The youngster, picking up on her grandfathers bluntness responded, “His swimming pool.” The crowd cheered.
Gordon Campbell was unfunny, as usual. As was Philip Owen, although his remarks were terrific for Rafe when he finally got on the dais. It seems that the two grew up together and that Rafe once dated the current Mrs. Owen. Rafe: “Phil’s right, I once dated Freda. She never had it so good.”
Neil MacRae was absolutely fabulous, calling Rafe, amongst other things, “An old fart.”
Wally Oppal had brilliantly funny jokes. Rafe’s old nemesis, Ken Georgetti, a guy whom he’s jousted with like no one, said, “Rafe, you may be right wing, but you know what, you’re, damn you for it, sometimes absolutely right.”
Then the Rafe one stepped up to plate to give his thanks and to fire back. He noted Ken Georgetti’s return to BC, as Ken’s been running the Canadian Labour Congress in Toronto. “He had hoped to have a Joyful return to BC,” noting of course the infamous affair carried on by Georgetti and Joy MacPhail eras ago. His remarks were heartfelt, bringing the old coot to near tears. “There are people out there who’d like to try my chair. I’m not going anywhere. God-willing, I’ll be here for a long time to come. They’ll just have to wait.”
Got that Peter Warren? Good, Rafe, kindly get on with it.
The funny part is, he’s actually deserving of a night in his honour.
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An archive of Joseph Planta's previous columns can be found by clicking HERE .